Stanley Smartpants and the Disappearing Diamonds - £8.99

The fifth mysterious case for Stanley Smartpants and his team of cat detectives AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE ON 4TH NOVEMBER 2019

Stanley Smartpants and the Disappearing Diamonds
The Story

An expensive diamond necklace, belonging to Lady Lucinda Lumpface, is stolen from the Royal Feline Hotel and Carvery in Babbacat. Other robberies occur at Dazzling Diamonds 4 Filthy Rich Cats and Jewels4Kats. In all three cases, diamonds have disappeared from locked safes, manufactured by Loktite Securities in Cat-Haven-on-Sea.

In an embarrassing episode, Zachary Spindlecrunch, owner of Cabbage Heaven, calls in the Cat-Police to investigate the theft of red cabbages from his safe.

Stanley and friends enjoy a break at the Catta Mía Italian Restaurant, where they are entertained by the resident cabaret singers, Just One Cornetto Luigi and Just One Cornetto Sofia, famous for her AbbaCat songbook.

When Stanley and his boss, Chief Inspector Dimwit, visit Leo Lox, owner of Loktite Securities, they make a shocking discovery. Leo’s delivery engineer, Granite Chops Gringo, a former boxer, was off sick when the three safes in question were delivered, apparently by a mystery cat, known as Billy Splash.

Suspects include Julian Jewelpincher, recently released from prison, and captured on camera at the Grandcat Hotel, where another expensive diamond necklace has been stolen from yet another locked Loktite safe! Could it have anything to do with a Grandcat guest, Graham Grumble Grunge, owner of a jewellery store in Catton Garden?

Your Secret is Safe with me Scarlett, chief crime reporter-cat on the Cat-Haven Chronicle, and editor Poisonous Paddy the Pen, put Stanley under pressure. Should he call in the CIA (Cat Intelligence Agency) or even the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation)?

Quotes from children and adults who have read the Stanley Smartpants stories:

“… I like Stanley Smartpants poetry. I like the fact that the characters are funny and they are so much better than real cats. I hope you are going to write more books because I will read them all.” Isabella Bignall, age 6

“thanks for making half term special …. We are up to chapter four and can’t wait to read more.” Lula Hammond, age 7

“Hello Stanley, I love your stories! As you would say …. ‘It’s sooooo cool!’ …could you say hello to your special friend Pretty Peaches from me. I think she’s adorable ☺” Lola Cole, age 7

“thanks for making half term special …. We are up to chapter four and can’t wait to read more.” Lula Hammond, age 7

“I enjoyed it so much I have read it 4 times ...” Freddie Lane, age 8
“... the best book I have read by far ... EASY TO PICK UP, IMPOSSIBLE TO PUT DOWN!” Katie McGorry, age 8

 “Having read the first and been waiting for the second ... “ ... it finally arrived on Christmas morning! I was so excited that I danced around the room with it, shouting “Yes, yes, it’s FINALLY here!” Antonio Harris, age 8

“I always got headake when I read hard books but this book, it made me dance!” Rikuki Tsuda (Japanese boy), age 9

The plot is exciting and easy to follow. Cat-Haven is described in detail and you feel that you are there!” Natalia Desselberger, age 9

“This is a purrrrrfect book for cat lovers like me and people who like mysteries. I love the fun jokes and poems and I enjoyed dressing up as Stanley Smartpants on World Book Day at school.” Lois Kemp-Harper, age 9 

On the Poisoned Parrots – “I think it is your best so far and I love how the blinking is what decides the arrest …… it was very misleading and it left me wondering …. I did a lot of sneak reading to finish this book and almost never put it down. It is amazing, and having two criminals really throws you down a false trail.” Orlando Morris, age 9 (in Australia)

“Your book has really inspired me to do more writing and you have shown me that not all books are boring.” Helenka Manford, age 10

“…. was the best book I’ve ever read. It keeps you in suspense till the end. THE BOOK IS AMAZING!” Cameron Khanna, age 10

“Stanley Smartpants is the best book ever. Jokes, mystery and fun galore. I couldn’t put it down. So good.” Olivia Artz, age 10

“I think it is very funny and overall one of the best books I have ever read.” Nathan Butterworth, age 10

“I enjoyed it a lot, especially the jokes. Thank you for such a great book.”Hazel Snowball, age 10

“The Stanley Series was great! They all were brilliant and I would recommend them to all budding detectives.” And reviewing all four books - on his favourite, The Harbour Mystery … “I chose Harbour Mystery in the end. It had so much to it. Two main crimes, great laughs and it was very hard to discover the thief.” Marcus, age 10 “I love your first book so much I have read it seven times (currently reading it for the eighth time).” Freya Ivy Medniuk, age 11

“The most fantastic book I have ever read.” Caitlin Maciver, age 11

“We were not that big fans of reading but I think your book has changed mine and Jonathan’s mind completely as we adore Stanley and his crew!” Grace Jenkin, age 11   
“… it is the best book I have ever read! Every time I pick the book up for a bit I end up crying in tears of laughter.” Madeleine Jarmey

“... undeniably unquestionably unputtdownable.” Noa Shmueli

“It is a brilliant book .... a real page turner.” Beth Squire, age 12

“It was utterly amazing …. I loved all the twists that were in the plot …. I can’t wait till the next book comes out.” Natalie, age 13

“Greetings from your friends in Perth, Australia! Susannah Morris. And from her son “Hi Alexander this is about your latest book (The Poisoned Parrots), I think it is your best so far …. and almost never put the book down. It is amazing …” Orlando Harris

“My grandson Harry loved the book and has read it three times.” June Nayler

“Just wanted to share the happiness your books delivered for Christmas …. He went up to bed for a good read …. it was another giddy bubble of happy! So thank you for writing such amazing books!!” Hannah Skeritt

“… for my son Harry …. He loved your first book so much he has asked for the rest of the Stanley Smartpants books for his birthday.” Kate Larner

“Just wanted to share the happiness your books delivered for Christmas …. He went up to bed for a good read …. it was another giddy bubble of happy! So thank you for writing such amazing books!!” Hannah Skeritt

“... my daughter Olivia ... she sits and reads and chuckles - what more can you ask for? Emma Lee

“My young granddaughter says your stories are as good as Harry Potter.” Kay Buckwright

“I have been reading your book to my neighbour’s children. They could not wait for the next chapter and kept coming round nearly every day to hear more. They have voted it the best book ever.” Barbara Pleace

“Thank you for creating a positive character. Your Stanley Smartpants books have been ‘hoovered up’ by our 9 year old son. He really appreciates the humour and has mentioned that Stanley is clever and kind.” Rachel Davis

“I just wanted to say how ****** brilliant this book is …. I honestly could not put the book down …. Please don’t ever stop writing … I have just graduated from uni with a law degree so this book is definitely for everyone!”Michelle Yates, 21.

“... I could barely put it down, I was hooked into the plot ... I really enjoyed the suspense and the humour.” Rachel Thomas, 30s

“ ... bought it for my 6 year old daughter ... reading to her ... after she had fallen asleep I found myself unwilling to put the book down so much so that it became MY Stanley Smartpants book.” Wendy Somerville, 30s

“A book for kids of all ages including those like me in their fifties.” Kathryn Powley, 50s

“I’m one of your adult fans! Having enjoyed the first book so much I wanted to buy the story about the Harbour Mystery.” Mike Fanning, age 56

 “I bought your book for my grandson to read because I thought it would be something he would enjoy. What I didn’t realise was, how much I would enjoy it as well!!! ... I was laughing so much my husband wondered what was going on!! Really good read, I shall reluctantly pass it on to my grandson.” Joan Hentall, age 81

“I enjoyed the book but you should have (a) warning notice of the danger that you cannot put the book down until it is read. I lost a lot of sleep as I read the book until the early hours before I could stop.” Patrick Tendrup, Age 90

Contributions from children included in Stanley Smartpants and the Disappearing Diamonds:

STANLEY’S OUTFITS

All the outfits that Stanley wears during the course of the story have been created and designed by children, usually in Colouring Competitions held at schools the author has visited.

Front Cover and Chapter 4: created by Alice Godfrey, age 8, of Norfolk House Primary School in Muswell Hill, London..
Chapter 7: Lily Mae Holt, age 8
Chapter 12: Osric Cooke, age 8.
Chapter 14: Eddie Hydes, age 8
Chapter 15: Amelie Blair, age 9
Chapter 18: Isla Twigg, age 8
Chapter 21: Heidi Fowell, age 9
Chapter 30: Benedict Lipner, age 8
Chapter 36: Erin, age 8
Chapter 44: Harry Faull, age 8
Chapter 50: Fallon Wright, age 7
Chapter 56: Sophia Abbassi, age 9
Chapter 63: Emily Ferrari Callaghan, age 8

JOKES SENT IN FOR JUMPING JACK

Chapter 2: Footballer-cat sent off – Sam Stone
Chapter 20: Dog, tap, tomato – Isabella Bignell
Chapter 27: Cats and dogs – Lacey Purvis
Chapter 27: Skeleton – Charlie Chick
Chapter 33: Favourite treat – Mia Brown

OTHER CONTRIBUTIONS FROM CHILDREN

The Title Stanley Smartpants and the Disappearing Diamonds was suggested by William Sharpe (age 7) of Skyswood Primary School in St Albans.

Chapter 2: Catborghini – George Horne
Chapter 5: Cattery Pomeroy – Emma Leeming (Adult!)
Chapter 5: Diamonds are a cat’s best friend – Molly Till
Chapter 7: Bohemian Catsody – Freddie Parker
Chapter 18: Catalan – Tyler Cordy
Chapter 18: Kool 4 Kats Taxis – Lauren Page
Chapter 18: Cats and Spencer – Euan McGrath
Chapter 20: cat-i-am – Chloe Wills
Chapter 20: Olly Purrs – Mia Lawrence
Chapter 27: Eyes (simile) – Mae Ebdon
Chapter 28: CIA (Cat Intelligence Agency) – Poppy Baines
Chapter 30: Wasp (simile) – Seren Davis
Chapter 44: Fleabay – Sarah Everington
Chapter 44: Milkaholic – Brook-Tyler Mitchmore
Chapter 44: Catbucks – Paiton Newton
Chapter 44: Cattacino – Luke Mardon
Chapter 56: TK Cats – William Toffa
Chapter 63: Catsburys Supermarket – Ethan Smout
Stanley Smartpants and the Exploding Bananas - £8.99

The fourth and most explosive case yet for the Cat-Haven Cat-Police!

Stanley Smartpants and the Exploding Bananas
The Story

A boatload of bananas is stolen by Freddie Fruitpincher from a Spanish cargo ship in Torcat Harbour. His boss, Dangerous Dylan, sends him out to sell the stolen fruit. He fails miserably, even trying to make a sale to Sugar Free Sharon, owner of the 100% Cat Health shop.

Chief Crime Reporter-cat on the Cat-Haven Chronicle, Your Secret is Safe with me Scarlett, leaks the story of the stolen bananas much to the annoyance of the cat-police.

Meanwhile, Dangerous Dylan consults his twin brother, Menacing Max, who is enjoying life on their humungous yacht moored in Fingerilla Harbour in the South of Spain. They decide to sack Freddie without paying him. Freddie swears revenge and buys a chemical sickness bug online, which he injects into Dylan’s bananas. The infected fruit is stocked by Salt of the Earth Sam’s supermarket and various other outlets. It soon creates a wave of sickness amongst the citizen-cats of Cat-Haven. Sister Dedicated Deborah and her staff in the A & E Department at Torcat Hospital are under enormous strain to contain the epidemic.

The cat-police are urgently trying to find Freddie Fruitpincher, who has been identified by a member of the cat-public. They seek the help of the Cat-Haven Chronicle to track him down.

In an extraordinary development, naughty fun-loving kittens, Snugsy and Bugsy, contrive to create a huge banana explosion, resulting in more chaos in Cat-Haven.

After many twists and turns, the trail eventually leads to the Costa del Cat in the South of Spain …..

Quotes from children and adults who have read the Stanley Smartpants stories:
“thanks for making half term special …. We are up to chapter four and can’t wait to read more.” Lula Hammond, age 7
“I enjoyed it so much I have read it 4 times ...” Freddie Lane, age 8
“... the best book I have read by far ... EASY TO PICK UP, IMPOSSIBLE TO PUT DOWN!” Katie McGorry, age 8

To read more reviews please click here

Contributions from children included in Stanley Smartpants and the Exploding Bananas:

STANLEY’S OUTFITS

All the outfits that Stanley wears during the course of the story have been created and designed by children.

Front Cover and Chapter 74: created by Isabella Miller-Mears, age 11, of St. Ippolyts Primary School in Hertfordshire.
Chapter 6: Isobel Fisher, age 8
Chapter 14: Samuel Pendleton, age 10
Chapter 18: Mia Sandford, age 9
Chapter 22: Scarlett Noble, age 10
Chapter 30: Beth Noble, age 10
Chapter 41: Charlotte Nelson, age 9
Chapter 43: Kiera Allenby, age 10
Chapter 47: Jonathan Guest, age 11
Chapter 58: Lily Jenkins, age 5
Chapter 60: Kate Fletcher, age 11

JOKES SENT IN FOR JUMPING JACK

Chapter 1: Turning into a dog – Emily Maton
Chapter 1: Batman and Robin – Fariha Islam
Chapter 1: Fish, Lemon and Glue – George Redfearn
Chapter 21: Marshmallow – Matthew Dias
Chapter 21: School Test – Emilia Fishwick
Chapter 21: Favourite Colour – Evie Coe
Chapter 49: Counting Cows – Arabella Haines
Chapter 49: Camel – Teddy Philpott

OTHER CONTRIBUTIONS FROM CHILDREN

Character Name: SARAH SPECKLEBERRY – Kendra Barron
Character Name: CINAMMON SANDY – Erin Stewart

Chapter 3: Mars Bar (simile) – Jack Fearn
Chapter 13: Santa Paws – Sarah Everington
Chapter 14: TK Cats – William Toffa
Chapter 18: Kool 4 Kats Taxis – Lauren Paige
Chapter 22: Fleabay – Sarah Everington
Chapter 28: Catdidlyumtious – Mia Lawrence
Chapter 38: cat-i-am – Chloe Wills
Chapter 43: Cats and Spencer – Euan McGrath
Chapter 60: “swagger jagger snazzy shorts” – Eloise Harris
Chapter 71: “Freeze in the name of the paw!” – Mercedes Khan
Stanley Smartpants and the Poisoned Parrots - £8.99

The third hilarious adventure featuring the Cat-Haven Cat-Police!

Stanley Smartpants and the Poisoned Parrot
The Story

An outbreak of stolen parrots plunges Cat-Haven-on-Sea into chaos. Pretty Polly's Pet Shop and the Cat-Haven Parrot Sanctuary have no parrots left. Closed Circuit Cat Television proves they were poisoned, a fate shared by Percy, Babbacat football club's parrot mascot, who is found dead in his cage. What is the connection?

Stanley Smartpants, the cooooolest cat-detective in Cat-Haven-on-Sea, and his boss the not very bright Derek Dimwit, are soon on the case.

They discover that dead parrots are being sold to businesses in Cat-Haven. Sizzling Parrot in black bean sauce is just one item on the special parrot menu served up in Chop Suey Charlie's Chinese restaurant, by the not very sweet smelling waiter-cat, Hing Hong Big Pong. Necklaces made from parrot feathers and claws are available at Precious Gemma's jewellery shop. And Just Call Me Bob is selling parrot candles in the Candle store.

Meanwhile, there is chaos in Cat-Haven County Court, where Klepto Klaws is on trial in front of Judge Joshua the Joker and his four piece band! There are squintillions of suspects. Can Stanley and his team track down the thief? Of course they can!

Quotes from children who have read this story:
“I think it is your best so far and I love how the blinking is what decides the arrest …… it was very misleading and it left me wondering …. I did a lot of sneak reading to finish this book and almost never put it down. It is amazing, and having two criminals really throws you down a false trail.” Orlando Morris, age 9 (in Australia)
“Your book has really inspired me to do more writing and you have shown me that not all books are boring.” Helenka Manford, age 10

To read more reviews please click here

Stanley Smartpants and the Harbour Mystery - £8.99

A hilarious detective story with an all cat cast!

Stanley Smartpants and the Harbour Mystery
The Story

A yacht owned by the politician-cat Sir Lancelot Smiles-a-Lot is broken into in Brixcat Harbour. Cash and jewels are stolen from the safe. Stanley Smartpants, the cooooolest cat-detective in town, and his boss Derek Dimwit are soon on the scene. Before they can talk to the Harbour Master-cat, who reported the robbery, he is found dead. Was it an accident, or was it murder? Did the same cat commit both crimes? Was it Mackerel Mike, one of the fishercats who pulled the dead cat out of the sea and then disappeared? Or Bouncing Bert, the assistant Harbour Master-cat, who wants the top job? Or could it have been Willy Splish of Splash Splosh Painters and Decorators, who recently decorated Sir Lancelot’s yacht?

“As always, Alexander Martin writes with terrific flair and humour, lovingly creating a cast of unforgettable felines.”
Amy Fox, Waterstones Children’s Specialist

Quotes from children who have read this story:

“I love this book”
“Hilariously funny”
“Once you start reading it you never want to put it down”
“Brilliant and funny”
“Stunning ... I couldn’t put the book down”
“ingeniously brilliant”
“kept me laughing throughout”
“the best I’ve read in a long time”
“Having read the first and been waiting for the second ... “ ... it finally arrived on Christmas morning! I was so excited that I danced around the room with it, shouting “Yes, yes, it’s FINALLY here!” Antonio Harris, age 8
A great read for adults too!
“As always, Alexander Martin writes with terrific flair and humour, lovingly creating a cast of unforgettable felines, each with their own distinct personality and style.”
Amy Fox, Waterstones Children’s Specialist

To read more reviews please click here

Stanley Smartpants and the Mackerel Robberies - £8.99

NOW ALSO AVAILABLE ON KINDLE - £3.99

Stanley Smartpants and the Mackerel Robberies
The Story

Sergeant Stanley Smartpants is the coolest cat detective in town! In the town of Cat-Haven-on-Sea that is. His boss is Chief Inspector Derek Dimwit, and as you might guess he's not a very bright cat. Together they investigate a series of robberies. At each one of the crime scenes they discover the skeleton of a dead mackerel.

Stanley and his team of cat-detectives, like Jumping Jack (he's very frisky!) and Marmalade Marmaduke (he just loves his toast and marmalade!), meet many crazy cats and get involved in hilarious situations. But they soon have a prime suspect, Beastly Boris, also known as Yuri Katakov, a former Russian ice-skating champion and part time dishwasher-cat. But is he the criminal-cat?

Quotes from children who have read this story:

“This fantastic debut by Alexander Martin mixes humour and crime (with the added bonus of an all cat cast) to create a story that is unputdownable! …….. Proving to be immensely popular with 9-12s, Stanley Smartpants is set to become one of the funniest and most endearing characters in children’s literature.”
Amy Fox, Waterstones Children’s Specialist

“I enjoyed it so much I have read it 4 times.” Freddie Lane age 8
“Your book has truly inspired me to do more writing and .... shown me that not all books are boring.” Helenka Manford age 9
“Oh my goodness this book is amazing ..... normally I’m not keen on reading but after this I think I’m going to do a lot more reading.” Megan Betts age 10
“One of the best books I’ve ever read. I could not put it down.” Bailey Holland age 11
“I love your first book so much I’ve read it seven times (currently reading it for the eighth time).” Freya Medniuk age 12
To read more reviews please click here

order your copy personally signed by the author
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